Comments

Fuseblower's picture
Fuseblower
0

So there's no point in us starting a book on how long you'll hold out, then?

I mean it's not *that* bad (says he as a male...) - you just have to put your life on hold for about 20 years, and if you're female you'll never be able to let go...

I'm now beginning to wonder why we had three of them!

crazydan05's picture
crazydan05
0

Forget havin' kids!  I don't blame you in the slightest for not wantin' one!  I hate Baby Showers anyhow, everyone thinks that "their" baby is the best and just brag about it all day.  boring. T_T

Maria E.'s picture
Maria E.
0

T__T But, Jammy babies will be needed sometime.

XFD's picture
XFD
0

Having kids, any number of them, is a full time job and then some.  Even with the Canadian HC system, just getting them through gestation is a huge and expensive ordeal. Once they're born, they're a stressful and exhausting responsibility with long term rewards. 

Say she were to decide to have kids, expect WT to update maybe quarterly if at all for a few years. Her promotional ladder will get curbed as she'll have to take time off for 3 a.m. trips to the hospital for ear infections, or other childcare problems. That will affect her work effectiveness. Travel goes out the window. No trips to Europe. Nor trips to Mexico. No time and probably no money for that anymore. 

I'm pretty sure that both Jam and Trevor are quite capable people who've thought about this already. So it's none of our business how they choose to live out their lives.

 

/gets off soap box. 

aj2x's picture
aj2x
0

It's funny how people automatically assume that there's a clock ticking down to childbearing once you get married.  My wife and I married in our late 40s, and we got asked about having kids for many years!  Not biologically impossible, of course, but being asked the question amused us greatly.  We took it as a compliment.

Rashkavar
1

Technically, by late 40s it is naturally impossible. Through scientific enhancement it is possible, but, upon marriage, your wife was down to the last couple of dozen eggs in her ova at most. And most of those are at least somewhat defective - there's a reason genetic anomalies like Downs Syndrome are more common in children born to older women.

Adoption is the best route, though if she really wants something far too large for her tender bits coming out, there are (bloody expensive) methods of inducing pregnancy. There's also the fact to consider that, by the time the kid's out of high school, you'd be in your late 60s. That's the part I don't think the elderly parents-to-be couples don't consider, I think. There are women who have been in their late 60s when they start the induced pregnancy part. That gives you a baby/young child to care for in your 70s, which is rather unwise.

James Thornton
0

Always nice to meet another member of the No Kids For Us Club.

Jam's picture
Jam
2

More like the No-Kids-In-The-Short-Term-Plan-Please-Stop-Asking-It-Weirds-Me-Out :)

Curtman's picture
Curtman
1

I'm told its called D.I.N.K.'s..  Dual-Income-No-Kids.  :)

paralian's picture
paralian
0

Where is the "like" button?  I can't seem to find it.  I'm a big fan of waiting till you're 30 (my mom was 30 - it's a nice number.)

Babies take a 20-year chunk out of your own life, dedicating it to someone else.  Why give them some of the best years of your life - give them more time out of your 40s so you can enjoy your 20s.  That's my opinion at least.

hDart
0

At first I thought Angela's left arm in the last panel was Trevor's, and was wondering what the blue pouch was. *facepalm*

wondering's picture
wondering
0

Stick to your guns. Don't let Trevor's tsks and sighs change your mind unless you want one! Even if you like kids it is better to be an auntie (even an adopted auntie) than a mom. Just think of all the sleep you get and all the adventures you have. Even skiing and mountain biking get difficult if you have to deal with a kidling - you either have to find a babysitter, find a way to bring them along, or find yourself sitting at home while Trevor gets to go out to do stuff. Which sucks.

jocelyn's picture
jocelyn
0

I would be so delighted to give birth to a squid.  Actually, i heard that's what birthing the placenta feels like. 

Jam's picture
Jam
1

(User liked this comment :) )

(Trevor fix the upvote!)

Vanessa Kelly
0

My sister had a baby, so that's all Wei and I get all the time. The worst part is that my sister is younger than me, so it's like my timer is going down extra fast or something.

FunkyTuba's picture
FunkyTuba
0

I love how GlassesGuy's baby's face is saying "Meh." through the whole comic. That's a refreshingly realistic way to portray a newborn.

I'm trying to figure out what GlassesGuy is trying to pantomime in panel 3? Is he pretending to ask "Is that a baby in there?" ... must be his lack of sleep bringing that on :D

Get everything done you want to do before you think about having a kid. Because once you have one it's no longer up to you and Trevor any more...it's up to you and Trevor and the kid.

Jam's picture
Jam
1

It's "Can you believe that there is a baby in there??"

AJ_Two's picture
AJ_Two
0

Kids are a draaaaag, man. You need to be OUT THERE having LIFE EXPERIENCES (best hippie voice).

Of course, one of the biggest life experiences is raising a kid. Stressful moments? Of course, and there are three major issues to think about. Mental stimulation - reading to them early on, teaching them to read, museums, discussions, etc.  Discipline - you need mother/father coordination/coop,  positive incentives, at least 2 punishments set up (if they think about breaking one, like leaving their room, they need a reason not to). Socializing - early, get them to do activities, help them through awkwardness, etc.

Of course, you have a hugely meaningful relationship, something to get your parents to help out with, and something another experience cannot replicate. In addition, you don't have the possibility of turning 50 and then going "God, I wish we'd had a child."

wondering: " Don't let Trevor's tsks and sighs change your mind unless you want one! …Just think of all the sleep you get and all the adventures you have. Even skiing and mountain biking get difficult if you have to deal with a kidling - you either have to find a babysitter, find a way to bring them along, or find yourself sitting at home while Trevor gets to go out to do stuff. "

Life will stop. Wait, no it won't. You have less time for other things but my mom managed to read a lot, learn a lot and so on while raising kids. She went to plays and movies (less often, but they happened). She (with practice) made time to exercise and do a few things. If you want some time you can still have 1-2 kids. Just thinking of all the stuff you'll miss is the fatal error of not considering the upsides/downsides of each alternative. Trevor should have a say, although frankly, couples shouldn't get married unless they know they're close to the same position on kids.

"Her promotional ladder will get curbed as she'll have to take time off for 3 a.m. trips to the hospital for ear infections, or other childcare problems. That will affect her work effectiveness. Travel goes out the window. No trips to Europe. Nor trips to Mexico. No time and probably no money for that anymore."

It is a tradeoff with work, family and recreation. Being a gnarled exec with 70+ hours of work per week with no family isn't that great, either.  Travel is still very possible; longer future trips would be delayed a few years by a baby. On money, Jam is an engineer. Engineers aren’t usually rich but are pretty well off. Please don’t argue;  they who don't think so are invited to have a crash course in life.

Jam's picture
Jam
1

I believe it! Kids are definitely a transformative and meaningful experience, and I would never begrudge anyone for having one. I'm excited to meet my friends' new kids and watching them grow. Personally, I'm just getting used to my recently-acquired position of stability. I'm sure if/when a child manifests, it will all work out somehow.

Fuseblower's picture
Fuseblower
0

You're dead right about that. I'm sure that if and when it's right for you to sprog, you'll know about it. And despite any protestations Trev might make, it really is your body - your life - and your decision. You have to live with the consequences far more than he does, certainly in the early stages.

As for the 'clock' thing - I've heard it said that the right physical time to do this is when you're about 18, but that you'd be in a much better mental state in your mid-to-late 30's. Which is possibly why a lot of women compromise between these extremes.

AJ_Two's picture
AJ_Two
0

Jam you should get the last word of course, but how do you handle Trevor? Forgive my presumptuousness, but wouldn't any reasonable married woman (or unmarried woman, in some cases) let her husband's wishes be a major factor? Not the only one, of course. I didn't mean to sound too judgmental by saying that couples should make sure they have similar thoughts about kids before marriage.

FB, What is sprog? Is it like spawn? I think using the phrase "I have spawned" would be one of the perks of having children.

My length of reply was related to the over-the-top direty of the warnings. As a friend once said in a similar conversation "With some of the baby-aversion here you'd think Moses could just have left a few babies with Pharaoh and he wouldn't have needed all those plagues."

Plus, the best argument for kids is grandkids. My grandmother, who had eight kids, has a large number of relatives to visit,help out with, etc. Eight is too many in the current non-farmwork population but it's not a bad thing to consider what you'd like at that age while you can influence it.

Fuseblower's picture
Fuseblower
0

Sprogs: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=sprog

Jam's picture
Jam
1

You are presuming a lot of things here.

AJ_Two's picture
AJ_Two
0

I beg your pardon, Angela/Jam. I did not review my comment, which upon reading sounds more aggressive than I intended. What I am interested in is your view on the issue of 'What weight does a woman give to her husband's wishes regarding kids?' There's the 'absolutely none' category, which can be a divisive pickle, the 'compromise - it's the way in marriage', which might end up with 1 kid if Molly wants 0 and Jefferson wants 2, or 2 if Molly wants 3 and Jefferson wants 1. The compromise has its own pickles. Lastly, there are the women who let themselves be talked into their husband's wishes. Many women seem comfortable letting their husbands decide a lot of major things; I wonder if women are conditioned at some level to take orders (What else explains Oprah's power?). For a woman that situation has its own rather strong pickle, I think.

And now, I feel like grabbing a few pickles.

wondering's picture
wondering
0

You know, women, especially married women, get a LOT of pressure to have kids. When a woman doesn't want a child, or doesn't want one YET, it can be nice to have a few people in the crowd who make you feel good about that decision instead of adding to the guilt trip or the "what if you figure out you want one when you're 50" you'll-regret-it trip.

But don't let that bother you.

AJ_Two's picture
AJ_Two
0

Pax?

I realize there is pressure but I'm not in favour of the 'don't mention an issue for the sake of solidarity' approach unless the issue is very sensitive, i.e. it has tragedy or is very personal and hasn't been brought up yet. It's the main subject here and therefore doesn't seem sensitive, so mentioning an issue to consider is legitimate, no? No 'trip' was intended; the possibility of regretting not having children when one is older seems like something to consider. There's no way for me to guess whether or not there's a problem with mentioning it as no obvious restrictions seem to apply.

Your comment does read like the classic 'You are dense and should feel guilty about not reading a woman's mind'. If you didn't want any discussion of the issues, Jam, I am sorry. I don't really see anything offensive about mentioning it, however.

It seems to me that more women get bothered by the lack-of-same-stance thing than men do, and I wonder if it has to do with the tendency of women to focus more on details and less on a broad overview (that last point is researched, btw). An overview would suggest bringing that downside up.

Suilean Dubh's picture
Suilean Dubh
0

Awww... I would like a pregnancy/baby comic that wasn't exactly the same as every other sitcom on the face of the earth. I feel like your jokes on the subject would actually be original. And yes, I understand that is not what the decision is getting based on. Still, that's where my brain goes.

bk-o's picture
bk-o
0

There seem to be two general school's of thoughts for newly weds. 

-"Zomg let's have a bebe nao and lurve it and be young enough to see great-grand kids."

and

-"Zomg, let's wait and see how our careers pan out and try to establish a stable life before we spawn little half genetic mutants of ourselves."

 

Personally, I think both have their merits and gains.

Asherian's picture
Asherian
0

There is some kind of timeline in that having a kid after 35 (or to a much lesser degree 30) can have added health risk that lead to greater expense and possible issues. Other than that it really is at your own comfortableness with it. 

I don't know if its as much an issue at your current job site or not, but something to take into consideration is chemical exposure. If your working with chemicals directly, or at the same facility at all and not just theortical/paper work your going to need to be extra careful about that. I was working in a solar panel experimental facilty when I got pregnant with my son and it was just a nightmare for exposure; everything turned out fine in the end thankfully. That'd be the biggest thing to keep in mind as a woman in anything industrial: make sure your job won't innately cause/have issues with pregnancy and a small child..

It is your choice, but by gods its not the nightmare most people make it out to be. Your body will go through changes, but not all are bad and the bad ones you can work around/fix if you worry about them. It isn't the end of your lives into something else if you don't want it to be either, just rearranges the priorities some : )

Asherian's picture
Asherian
0

There is some kind of timeline in that having a kid after 35 (or to a much lesser degree 30) can have added health risk that lead to greater expense and possible issues. Other than that it really is at your own comfortableness with it. 

I don't know if its as much an issue at your current job site or not, but something to take into consideration is chemical exposure. If your working with chemicals directly, or at the same facility at all and not just theortical/paper work your going to need to be extra careful about that. I was working in a solar panel experimental facilty when I got pregnant with my son and it was just a nightmare for exposure; everything turned out fine in the end thankfully. That'd be the biggest thing to keep in mind as a woman in anything industrial: make sure your job won't innately cause/have issues with pregnancy and a small child..

It is your choice, but by gods its not the nightmare most people make it out to be. Your body will go through changes, but not all are bad and the bad ones you can work around/fix if you worry about them. It isn't the end of your lives into something else if you don't want it to be either, just rearranges the priorities some : )

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