I should have seen that last panel coming. It hurts because it's true!
Reminds me of my college days when every third person had a bike in their dorm rooms. I still never really understood why they even bothered to OWN a bike, considering it snowed for almost six of the eight months class was in session. There were also the people who just chained their bike to a tree all winter and let it get covered in a snowdrift, but we don't talk about those people.
Our landlord makes us keep our bikes in our apartment, too.
Fortunately we're ground floor, so I can just come in the front door and go straight down the hall. I still resent the floor space they make us use. an 800 sqft apartment is not a lot of room for a bike, and y'know, us.
Try a 450 Sq ft second floor studio apartment with spouse.
I've seen bike storage rooms at a few hotels. Why do they never seem to think these things through? There's never enough room and you always end up seeing like a hundred bikes piled on top of each other. Better off getting a bike rack for your vehicle that can be locked, honestly. Lock the bikes on the rack and stow the front wheels and seats inside (add back wheels and handlebars if possible). Inconvenience deters theft.
It can be worse. I used to shop at a mall (by bike). I was told: "You can't lean that thing against the wall, you have to put it in a parking space out in the lot!" Sure recipe for bicycle pancake. I rode around to the back of the building and leaned it against the wall. Out of sight, out of mind.
The guy also said they were going to install bike racks. Twenty years and counting, they still haven't.
Bikes, stairs and doors just do not get along.